When I'm stressed I like to write funny articles.
So I got this little email today:
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Hello...
I am starting a legal escort service. I get a percentage of the escort fee plus administration fee, and you get the rest of the amount all for yourself. You can also work more for tips, if you so desire, and that money will all be for you. You will be able to work your own hours. My staff and I will do all the work; you just spend time with my clients and keep them company. Once a client chooses you as her escort, you will always have the option to accept or refuse.
If you are still interested, please contact me, and I can give you a more detailed explanation. Please include information on your height, weight, educational background, current job holding, and location. Thank you so much for your time.
Much love...
xxxxxx xxxxxx (name withheld)
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Wow finally I've been recognized for more than just my talent with cars but with the ladies! So here I am on my first step towards becoming a male gigolo.
What is the first thing a successful male gigolo requires? A name! A studly name like John Holmes, Long Dong Silver, Deuce Biggalo, Dirk Diggler, and etc. So I've played with a few names in my head. Maybe Bigdick McFuckalotty or even Hotshot Loveyoulongtime. Well to make things easy on myself, that way I can keep a straight face when saying my name, I'll go with Stud McStuddly. Now lets discuss transportation.
The car is a gigolo's best friend. A real giggolo drives a nice fast car. Well I dont have any family members that drive super exotic cars so I guess the next best thing would be my Galant, but it needs creature comforts like a mini bar, velvet interior, and a disco ball. After all that I will be big pimping in the Galant. Pimping? Wait a minute, I'm supposed to be the slut? I gotta remember that I'm going to be a male slut. Male slut, male slut, ...okay I think I got it now.
Alright so know I have to think about clothing yeah. I'm gonna pick me up some classy threads from the Men's Warehouse or just borrow some suits from my grandpa. He won't need them anymore since he's dead. I'm also gonna head over to Sears and buy me some underwear that comes in a tube. Leopard skin, elephant skin, oh wow I'm getting all excited thinking about it. I think thats the biggest perk of the job, wearing animal patterned undies that go up your butt crack. You know I gotta have one hell of an ass for all that crazy underwear. I think its time to hit the gym.
I bet you lots of fellow male sluts spend a lot of time working out at the gym. Either that or spending court ordered time in rehab. So I'm gonna hit the gym and ask guys how they like being a slut. I gotta know the game before I can play it well ya know? After I hit the gym its off to the video store.
At the video store I'm gonna rent a lot of movies to help me get my game on. Such titles like American Gigolo, Deuce Bigalow, Shaft, and a lot of porno of course. I'm gonna make sure to take lots of notes. Also rehearse my lines with my neighbor. Lines like "hey baby lets get freaky" and "damn you look hot, let me help you cool off by getting you out of those clothes".
I'll let you guys know how it all comes off in part two.
