I think some of you may find this quite amusing.
Day One: I just saw this great movie about Japanese cars called the Fast and the Furious. It made me want to do donuts in the movie theater parking lot with my dad's Buick. Oh man did that movie rock!
Day Two: My dad stopped letting me borrow the Buick because I spray painted racing stripes down the middle of the car. Now I've got no wheels, what's a pimp to do?
Day Three: Mom just bought herself this shweet 4 door import. An import!!! How lucky is that. I can't wait to start racing in it.
Day Four: Mom told me to go buy some spark plugs for the car. So I went to Pep Boys and looked up and down the aisles for spark plugs. I couldnt find anything called Spark Plugs but I found these cool washer nozzle lights. I had enough money to buy two sets!
Day Five: My buddies and I were thinking of a way to make the car louder. We wanted it to sound like I had a V12 under the hood. So we tried jacking up the back of the car to get a better look and crushed the piping to that muffler looking thing. We decided to just ditch the muffler altogether. Man does it sound sweet.
Day Six: My mom said to get the oil changed. Since I have zero mechanical ability I went and paid the mechanic 60 bucks to do it. He then charged me extra because he said cooking oil wasnt good enough. Then he said something in a language I didnt understand to the other mechanics and they were laughing pretty hard. I think its cuz of the shirt I was wearing that day. Thats the last time I wear Spandex.
Day Seven: Mom got mad because she was late this morning. Some PIG pulled her over and made comments about the washer lights and the fact there was no muffler. What a stinking PIG! Obviously this guy doesnt know anything about real import performance.
Day Eight: My brother's friend's boyfriend said he could "slam" my car for me. So I took it to his house where he and his homies took my car apart and cut my springs. Man does it look sweet. I'm only a quarter inch off the ground. It rides like shit though and its making my back problems worse but I dont care.
Day Nine: I went on eBay to find a new muffler since that PIG wrote me a stinking fix it ticket. I'd sure like to tell that PIG where he can go fix himself. I bought this muffler that was made just for my car according to the ad but when it came it was just a muffler. What a gyp! It looked like someone welded two coffee cans together. It was so nice looking I took it to school to show all my friends. I didnt know how to put it on because it had no instructions.
Day Ten: The scraping noises are really getting to me. I think I saw sparks a few times while driving to school. My mom's car may be too low.
Day Eleven: The car got really weak and this old guy walking by said it sounded like the spark plugs. What the hell does that old guy know about modern import performance? Sheesh.
Day Twelve: These guys sold me a wing from the back of their van. Its soooo nice. Its huge too! They said thats its from a Supra. My friends and I agreed that it would look tight on my ride. Not to mention its a Supra wing. Those cars are fast as hell and I bet you this wing will help my car go faster. My car's black and the wing is red but whatever. It'll just help people notice my new badass wing.
Day Thirteen: Mom got mad that water got into the trunk from all the extra holes I drilled trying to install my badass Supra wing. She then started crying and said something about her beautiful car. Must have been tears of joy because I get those too.
Day Fourteen: Someone stole my hubcaps but its all good because my car looks better with my steel wheels. My friend said it looked "JDM".
Day Fifteen: My mom asked me to go change the spark plugs again so off to Pep Boys I go. I looked up and down the aisles again and couldnt find it. Maybe theres a special spark plugs store people go to. I did find these HID lights though! They only cost me 15 bucks! I wonder why its a 2000 option on so many cars. I took the lights and my car to my friends house for install. It took us just 5 hours! We broke a few bulbs and things snapped off but its all good.
Day Sixteen: Some asshole wrote "Wash Me" with the dirt on my window.
Day Seventeen: I finally was able to afford what I've always wanted. Stickers! I bought "VTEC power", "TRD", "GTR", and "SiR" today and slapped em all over my car. Now people won't mess with me because they'll think my car's fast.
Day Eighteen: I went online and found this internet club of people with the same car as me. I went to a meet and wowwed everyone with my washer nozzle lights. I think I have the best car out of all of them.
Day Nineteen: I read about how to make my car faster with a intake mod. So I did it one better and just took the filter out. I'm so smart. My car's wayyyy faster now. But it keeps backfiring.
Day Twenty: I went to a party where they had nitrous balloons. So I had this great idea of stuffing a few into my intake. I wanted to see how much stronger my motor would be with NAWS. So I had my friend gun the motor while I popped the balloons. It sounded great but then the idiot must have done something wrong because my car's engine went "clank". I had to tow the car home.
Day Twenty One: The dealership where my mom leased her car from said they wouldnt fix the car because we voided the warranty. What bullshit. So now we have to pay them for the car and it doenst run anymore. Its all good though we'll just get a newer car and I'll fix that one up good.
